Fiqh Lesson by Umm Ahmad / Amirah ( 16th April, 2013 )

Advice to the Husbands who constantly threaten their wives with divorce when angry

By Shaykh Uthaymeen

My advice to these men is for them to be men in the true sense of the word, and they should control themselves and not give in to anger. A man said to the Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him: Advise me. He responded: Do not become angry. The man repeated his request several times, and he continued to say: Do not become angry.
And the cure for the disputes that occur between the spouses is not for the husband to expel her from the home and send her to her family; this is not permissible except under extreme circumstances. Rather it is appropriate for him to be loving with his wife and to pardon her misconduct.
And the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him said: Let not the believing man despise the believing woman. (Do not despise, meaning do not hate or detest) Let not the believing man despise the believing woman, if he hates a characteristic from her will be pleased with another of her characteristics.
Thus it is befitting for the man to be a man in the true sense of the word.
Who is the one who forgets all the good deeds if one evil deed occurs? Who is the one who forgets all the good deeds if one evil deed befalls them? (The answer is) The woman. Are you pleased to reduce yourself until you are on the level of a woman? If you see one evil deed from her you say: I have never seen any good from you.
Thus I advise our brothers, if there occurs between them and their wives problems, they must remain patient, endure and deal with the woman in the appropriate manner as we have been advised by the Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him.
He said: The woman is created from the rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the upmost part. If you try to straighten it, you will break her, so if you enjoy her, then enjoy her with the crookedness that is in her.
This is how it was said by the Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him.
And if the man obeys Allah and His Messenger in dealing with his family, Allah will replace the animosity and hatred in her heart, changing it to compassion and love. Allah the Exalted says:
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ
The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become)…
Complete the verse.
كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
As though he was a close friend
The hearts are in the Hand of Allah the Exalted. Repel the evil with that which is better, O believers.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The Key for the Abode of Happiness

Adapted to English By Dr. Saleh As-Saleh, May Allah Forgive him, his parents, and all the Muslims

The Prophet (sallAllahu 'aleihi was-sallam) said, "The example of guidance and knowledge with which Allah has sent me is like abundant rain falling on the earth, some of which was fertile soil that absorbed rain water and brought forth vegetation and grass in abundance. (And) another portion of it was hard and held the rain water and Allah benefited the people with it and they utilized it for drinking, making their animals drink from it and for irrigation of the land for cultivation. (And) a portion of it was barren which could neither hold the water nor bring forth vegetation (then that land gave no benefits). The first is the example of the person who comprehends Allah's religion and gets benefit (from the knowledge) which Allah has revealed through me (the Prophet) and learns and then teaches others. The last example is that of a person who does not care for it and does not take Allah's guidance revealed through me (he is like that barren land.)" [Bukhari, Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadeeth 79].

In his commentary on this hadeeth, Imaam Ibnul Qayyim (rahimahullaah) concluded in his book (Muftahu-daris-Sa'aadah), that the Prophet (sallAllahu 'aleihi was-sallam) categorised people into three types with respect to their acceptance and readiness to memorise, understand and deduct the wisdoms and benefits of knowledge.

The First Category: Ahlul-hifthi-wal-Faham (People of Memorization and Understanding).

They are those who memorise, understand the meanings, deduct the aspects of rulings, the wisdoms therein, and the benefits. Their example is like the land which accepts the rain water (memory absorbing knowledge) and brings forth vegetation and grass in abundance. This vegetation and grass is the fahm (the understanding) and ability to deduce. This is the example of those who kept what they memorised and understood it. They are the people of texts and understanding.

 The Second Category: Ahlul-hifth (People of Memorization Only)

Those are able to memorise and relate in precision, but they do not have the ability to understand the meanings, nor to deduct or address the wisdoms and benefits therein. They are like those who recite the Qur'aan, memorise it, precisely recite and pronounce the letters and hold to the grammar, but without comprehending it.

On the other hand people vary to great extents in terms of their understanding of the texts spoken by Allah and (or) by His Messenger. Some may understand a ruling or two while others may deduce from the same text one hundred or two hundred rulings. The example of these two categories as mentioned in the hadeeth is like the land which has the water. People can benefit from it: drinking, giving it to others to drink, arrogation, and so forth.

These two categories, the first and the second are the happy ones, and the first category is higher in rank. This is the Favour of Allah:
 This is the Grace of Allah, which He bestows on whom He wills. And Allah is the Owner of Mighty Grace. [Qur'aan 62:4].

They are the ones who have no share in memorization nor in understanding. Their similitude in the hadeeth is that of the barren land, which could neither hold the water nor bring forth vegetation. Hence no produce (no benefit), and these are the wicked ones.

 The first two categories, those who memorised, learned and understood, and the others who memorised without being able to understand, share the knowledge and teach, each in accordance with the extent he may have received and accepted. The latter knows the wording of the Qur’aan teaches it and memorises it, while the former knows the wording, the meaning and the ruling and teaches them. The third category has no knowledge nor teaching.

This hadeeth, therefore, makes clear the nobility and rank of knowledge and teaching, and the children of Adamâ’s ('aleihis-salaam) categories with respect to this matter. The happy ones and the wicked ones. And in this hadeeth there is evidence that people's need for knowledge is like their need for rain, rather more. And if they fail to find (seek) the knowledge then they are the land that missed the rain. Imam Ahmed (rahimahullaah) said: People are in need of knowledge more than their need for food and drink, because food is needed only once or twice a day, whereas knowledge is needed as much as the number of breaths." This is because each breath needs to be accompanied with faith and wisdom. And if faith and wisdom disassociate from a single breath, then he is ruined. And there is no way to protect against this except by the way of knowledge.

أَنزَلَ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ مَاءً فَسَالَتْ أَوْدِيَةٌ بِقَدَرِهَا فَاحْتَمَلَ السَّيْلُ زَبَدًا رَّابِيًا ۚ وَمِمَّا يُوقِدُونَ عَلَيْهِ فِي النَّارِ ابْتِغَاءَ حِلْيَةٍ أَوْ مَتَاعٍ زَبَدٌ مِّثْلُهُ ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ يَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْحَقَّ وَالْبَاطِلَ ۚ فَأَمَّا الزَّبَدُ فَيَذْهَبُ جُفَاءً ۖ وَأَمَّا مَا يَنفَعُ النَّاسَ فَيَمْكُثُ فِي الْأَرْضِ ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ يَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْأَمْثَالَ  ﴿١٧﴾

 He sends down water (rain) from the sky, and the valleys flow according to their measure, but the flood bears away the foam that mounts up to the surface, and (also) from that (ore) which they heat in the fire in order to make ornaments or utensils, rises a foam like unto it, thus does Allah (by parables) show forth truth and falsehood Then, as for the foam it passes away as scum upon the banks, while that which is for the good of mankind remains in the earth. Thus Allah sets forth parables (for the truth and falsehood, i.e. Belief and disbelief)‌ .

In this aayah (verse), Allah gave a similitude for the knowledge which He bestowed upon His Messenger (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam). It is like the rain which He sent down from the sky, because it produces life and benefits mankind in their livelihood, and for the provisions they need in their journey of return to Allah. Then He set the parable of the heart as the valley when He, subhanahu wa ta'ala, said (what means): And the valleys flow according to their measure. A big heart accommodates a lot of the knowledge, like a great valley accommodating a lot of rain, and a small heart accommodates little knowledge like a small valley holding little water. That is why He, subhanahu wa ta'ala, said (what means): And the valleys flow according to their measure.‌ This is parable of the knowledge when it sets or touches the heart. It takes away from the heart the foam (of false doubts), and it carries it to the surface of the heart, like when He, subhanahu wa ta'ala, said (what means): The flood bears away the foam that mounts up to the surface.‌ It does not settle in the valley. Similarly, the false misconceptions when removed by knowledge go to the top surface of the heart where they float and do not settle. Rather they dry out and go away. What settles in the heart is that which benefits it from guidance on truth, as the pure water settles in the valley while the foam washes away.

 Then Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, set another parable in the same verse:
And (also) from that (ore) which they heat in the fire in order to make ornaments or utensils, rises a foam like unto it."

 This is the ore people use to heat and to melt the gold and silver, copper and iron, in order to take away the impurities contained therein. The impurity is the foam driven out by the fire's heat, and what remains is pure essence. Therefore, in these parables you see two things mentioned:

(ii) the other is fire, which eliminates and burns.

 The ayahs of the Qur'aan bring life to the heart as the rain gives life to the earth, and it burns away the doubts and the lust and its filth, just like the fire burns what falls in it. In addition, the verses distinguish what is good of the essence as compared to falsehood (the foam), just like the fire takes away the impurities from gold, silver, copper and the like.

 "Thus Allah sets forth parables (for the truth and falsehood, i.e. Belief and disbelief).
We ask Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to make us of those who know and comprehend, and of those who comply and submit. Aameen.

The slave of Allah, Saleh As-Saleh, May Allah reward sis Umm Noor al-Biritaaniyyah al-Yamaniyyah for transcribing this lecture, and sis Umm Ahmad al-Kanadiyyah for her final editing. 

[Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh ‘Abd al- ‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, Vol. 11, pp. 188-190]

From ‘Abdul ‘Aziz Bin ‘Abdullah Ibn Baz to those who receive this among Muslims. May Allah guide all Muslims and increase their knowledge and faith, amen!

It gives me pleasure to remind my Muslim sisters that it is of the Sunnah for a Muslim to say after each obligatory Salah, whether one is the Imam (the one who leads the congregational Salah), Ma'mum (a person being led by an Imam in Prayer) or Mufarid (a person who performs prayer alone) to say, "Astagfir Allah" (I ask Allah forgiveness) three times and then say, "Allahumma Anta Al-Salam Wa Minka Al-Salam, Tabarakta Wa Ta’alayta Ya-dhal-Jalali Wal-Ikram" (O Allah, You are Al-Salam [the One Who is free from all defects and deficiencies] and from You is all peace, blessed are You, Possessor of majesty and honor!) If one is Imam, one should turn facing the people. The Imam, those praying behind him, or a person offering Salah individually should say, "La Ilaha Illa Allah, Wahdahu La Sharika Lah, Lahul-Mulku Wa-Lahul-Hamdu, Wa-Huwa ‘Ala Kulli Shai’in Qadir, La Hawla Wa-La Quwwata Illa Billah, La Ilaha Illa Allah Wa-La Na’budu Illa Iyyahu, Lahun-Ni’matu Wa-Lahul-Fadl, Wa-Lahu Ath-Thanaa'u Al-Hasan, La Ilaha Illa Allah Mukhlisina, Lahud-Dina Wa-Law Karihal-Kafirun. Allahumma La Mani’a Lima A’tait Wa-La Mu’ty Lima Man’t, Wa-La Yanfa’u Dhal-Gaddu Minkal-Gadd. (None has the right to be worshipped except Allah, alone, without any partner. To Allah belong all sovereignty and praise. He is Omnipotent over all things. There is no might nor power except with Allah. None has the right to be worshipped except Him. We worship none but Him. To Allah all favor, grace, and praise are due. None has the right to be worshipped except Allah and we are sincere in faith and devotion to Him although disbelievers detest it. Oh Allah! Oh Allah! None can prevent what You willed to give and none can grant what You have willed to prevent, and no wealth or majesty can benefit anyone, as from You is all wealth and majesty).

and He has power over all things). After that, one is to say each of the following supplications thirty three times; (a) "Subhana Allah" (Glory is to Allah), (b) Al-Hamdu Lillah (praise is due to Allah) and (c) "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Great), and then completes the hundred times saying, "La Ilah Illa Allah, Wahdahu La Sharika Lah, Lahu Al-Mulk Wa Lahu Al-Hamd, Yuhyi Wa Yumit, Wa Huwa ‘Ala Kull Shay'in Qadir".

‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) said, "I used to know when they finished the Salah by this (supplications as they were said aloud) if I heard them."

It is recommended for Imam, Ma'mum, and Munfarid to recite Ayat-ul-Kursy (the Qur’anic Verse of Allah’s Chair, Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:255) inaudibly. After that, Surah-Al-Iklas (the Qur'an, Surah 112), Surah-Al-Falaq (the Qur'an, Surah 113), and Surah-Al-Nas (the Qur'an, Surah 114) inaudbly after each obligatory Salah and repeat them three times after the Maghrib (Sunset) and Fajr (Dawn) Salahs.
This is preferable, for the authenticity of what we have mentioned above. May Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, His companions, and those who follow him rightfully till the Day of Judgment.


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